PIPPA CELEBRATES SECOND ANNIVERSARY!

Capippalists all over PhaseWorld are reporting fiery, but mostly peaceful celebrations. Our brave reporters attempted to reach out to Sakana for a statement, but all contact with them was lost when they crossed the Canadian border. May God have mercy on their souls.

Do you like Pipkin Pippa?

Her early work was a little too new wave for my tastes, but when the Portugal Stream happened in 2022, I think she really came into her own, commercially and artistically. The channel has a moldy, ant-infested aura, and a new sheen of schizophrenic unprofessionalism that really gives the content a big boost. She's been compared to Usada Pekora and Punkalopi, but I think Pippa has a far more bitter, cynical sense of humor. In July 2022, Pippa released this, "Pippa The Ripper", her most accomplished piece of content. I think her undisputed masterpiece is the lyric "I am the only one, Yeah, The Messiah", a lyric so influential, most people probably don't realize they've beecome parasocial. But they should, because it's not just about the pleasures of NEETdom, and the importance of desk ants, it's also a personal statement about Pippa herself.

Pippa Completes Videogame

In a turn of events nobody could've seen coming, Pippa has actually completed FEAR on the Super Hard "What's the Lean Button" difficulty. This makes Pippa's game completion record an estimated 7 games completed out of 252 games started.

Colress stocks plummet as Pippa contemplates the morality of a Bismarck/Colress polycule.

Jetstream Sam, Dante, Heisenberg, and now Colress? Is it over for toothpaste man? Who will be Pippa's next husbando-of-the-week? Will it be Baizhu? I don't know. You don't know. She probably doesn't know. I just know you should be selling your Colresscoin before it craters.

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The Armpit Stream: A Self-Inflicted Inevitability

You did this to yourself, Pippa. Don't forget to buy the tarantula too.

RIP Turtlebro

Shenzhen, China, 2023 - Pippa's Mold Emporium, USA, 2023
Gone too soon.

Pippa Losing MORE Teeth?

A confidential source inside Pippa's dentist office says she is NOT brushing twice a day! New missing tooth arc soon?

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News from Pippakistan

Veteran Capippatalists responsible for several key victories for Pippa's free state were killed by newly recruited Harines in a terrible, and hilarious, friendly fire accident.

Merch-Watch

Sakana briefly emerged from his Canadian warehouse today and saw his shadow, causing him to retreat back inside. A bad omen for those still waiting for their orders of Pippa's new outfit merch.

Pippa Throws Out Garbage

Sweet crispy fuck, it's happening. Four bags! FOUR BAGS!

Pippa responsible for the deaths of 30,000 posters

Sleepkin Sleepa has confirmed 30,000 posters are dead after contracting a deadly virus that spread when Pipkin Pippa sneezed on her computer monitor.